Women’s History Month: Honoring Sharwline Nicholson

Sanctuary for Families

Sanctuary client Sharwline Nicholson’s landmark legal case paved the way for stronger protections for survivors and their children.

During Women’s History Month, Sanctuary for Families honors the women whose courage has transformed systems to recognize and respond to the needs of survivors.

Just over 20 years ago in New York City, a survivor could have their children taken away for “engaging” in domestic violence — a devastating practice that punished those it should have protected.

Refusing to accept this injustice, Sanctuary client Sharwline Nicholson spoke out, paving the way for stronger protections for survivors and their children.

Sharwline’s Story

In 1999, when Sharwline ended her relationship with the father of one of her two children, he responded with violence. Though he had never previously threatened or assaulted her, he punched her, kicked her, and broke her arm while their baby was asleep in the next room.

Sharwline arranged for friends and family to care for her children, called 911, and spent the night in the hospital recovering. The next day, she learned that the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) had taken custody of her children, claiming they were at “imminent risk” because she could not protect herself or them from abuse. Her children were just nine months old and four years old. ACS also charged Sharwline with neglect for “engag[ing] in acts of domestic violence” in the presence of her child.

A Landmark Legal Victory

Represented by Sanctuary, Sharwline became the lead plaintiff on a class action lawsuit alongside other mothers challenging this injustice. In 2004, the New York Court of Appeals unanimously affirmed that survivors should not be blamed or punished for the abuse they endure. The Court recognized that keeping children with their mother is often safer and more stable than removing them.

Because of Sharwline’s courage in coming forward and fighting for her rights, her case became a landmark victory — establishing a powerful legal precedent that continues to protect survivors, mothers, and children today.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that there are resources available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential support and information 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

If you live in New York City, please get in touch with Sanctuary for Families to get help.

A Guide to Matching Gifts

Sanctuary for Families

One of the simplest ways to multiply your impact is by participating in your company’s matching gift program.

At Sanctuary for Families, we’re always looking for ways to make your generosity go further. One of the simplest ways to multiply your impact is by participating in your company’s matching gift program.

What Are Matching Gift Programs?

Many companies match donations their employees make to nonprofits like Sanctuary for Families. Some even extend this benefit to retirees or spouses. Yet each year, $4–$7 billion in matching gift revenue goes unclaimed — often because donors don’t realize their gifts are eligible.

Here’s how it works: if you donate $50, your employer could donate $50—or even more. The match ratio determines how much the company gives relative to your contribution. A 1:1 ratio means the company donates the same amount as you, while a 2:1 ratio means they donate double your gift.

By participating, you can support survivors of gender-based violence at no extra cost, and your generosity goes twice as far.

How To Participate

  1. Donate to Sanctuary for Families.
  2. In the donation form, look for “Double Your Impact” and enter your employer’s name to check eligibility and see the instructions for how to submit.
  3. Submit a matching gift request through your company.
  4. Your company matches your donation, doubling the impact of your gift.

Tip: Most companies require matching gift requests to be submitted by December 31.

Your Impact

Last year, we received 98 matching gifts, raising $52,224 to continue providing life-changing services, including shelter, legal representation, counseling, and economic empowerment programs for survivors of gender-based violence.

Check if your company participates today and make your gift go further.

Planning with Purpose: Charitable Remainder Trusts

Sanctuary for Families

As part of our planned giving series, we’re sharing information about charitable remainder trusts, a unique giving option that can provide steady income to you or your loved ones while promoting our mission to support survivors of gender-based violence.

At Sanctuary for Families, estate planning is more than a financial or legal strategy—it’s an opportunity to align your legacy with your values.

As part of our planned giving series, we’re sharing information about charitable remainder trusts, a unique giving option that can provide steady income to you or your loved ones while promoting our mission to support survivors of gender-based violence.

What is a Charitable Remainder Trust?

A charitable remainder trust (CRT) is a powerful planned giving tool that allows you to convert highly appreciated assets into lifetime income while also supporting Sanctuary for Families.

Here’s how it works:

You transfer assets—such as cash, securities, or real estate—into a trust you create. The trust then pays you (or another beneficiary) annual income for life or a term of up to 20 years. After the trust term ends, the remaining assets go to the charity of your choice.

This type of gift offers several benefits, including potential income tax deductions, possible reduction in capital gains taxes, and the peace of mind that comes with making a lasting impact.

Two Options for Receiving Payments

You can structure your charitable remainder trust in one of two ways, depending on your financial goals:

  • Annuity Trust: Pays you a fixed dollar amount each year, determined at the outset. This provides predictable income, regardless of investment performance.
  • Unitrust: Pays you a fixed percentage of the trust’s fair market value, re-evaluated annually. If the value of the trust assets grows, so does your income. If it decreases, payments adjust accordingly.

Why Include Sanctuary for Families?

Your generous donations help Sanctuary for Families provide shelter, legal, clinical, and economic empowerment services to survivors of domestic violence, sex trafficking, and related forms of gender-based violence. By naming Sanctuary as the remainder beneficiary of a charitable trust, you are helping to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity, and healing for future generations.

Getting Started

Establishing a charitable remainder trust requires careful planning. We encourage you to consult with your financial advisor or attorney to determine the best strategy for your estate.

To learn more about how a charitable remainder trust—or other planned giving option—can support Sanctuary for Families’ mission, please visit our planned giving website.

This article is part of our ongoing series on planned giving options. Stay tuned for future installments exploring beneficiary designations, charitable trusts, and more.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: Online Safety Guide for Teens

Sanctuary for Families

For Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, Sanctuary for Families created a useful guide that highlights what every teen (and the adults who care about them) should know about online safety, digital boundaries, and tech-facilitated abuse.

For today’s teens, friendships, crushes, and dating are inextricable from social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, and AI tools. Technology can help us connect, but it also introduces real safety risks that every teen should understand.

For Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, Sanctuary for Families created a useful online safety guide that highlights what every teen (and the adults who care about them) should know about tech-facilitated abuse, digital boundaries, and protective safeguards.

  1. What is Technology-Facilitated Abuse?
  2. Red Flags in Relationships Online
  3. Sexting, Pressure, & Consent
  4. Image-Based Abuse
  5. Impersonation & Sextortion
  6. What To Do If You Are Experiencing TFA
  7. To Parents, Educators, & Caregivers

What is Technology-Facilitated Abuse?

Abuse is not just physical. In many teen relationships, harm can occur through phones, apps, and platforms. This is known as technology-facilitated abuse (TFA), the use of digital tools to harass, monitor, threaten, or control someone.

Red Flags in Relationships Online

The values that shape healthy in-person relationships — respect, consent, boundaries, trust, and safety — also apply online.

Unhealthy online behaviors often involve pressure, manipulation, or monitoring.

Check out examples in the graphic below:


 

Sexting, Pressure, & Consent

Sexting — sending sexually explicit photographs or messages — can be a natural part of personal and sexual development and exploration.  However, teens should understand the emotional and legal risks associated with sexting.

Under New York state and federal law, possessing or sending nude images of a person under 18 is illegal, even if you are also under 18 years old. There is no “safe” way to send or have a nude image of a minor on your device — this is considered possession of child pornography.

Despite this, sexting is on the rise. A 2026 study found that nearly 1 in 3 young people reported having received a sext, and almost 1 in 4 said they had sent one.

Many teens face pressure to send intimate images — up to 70% of teenagers who have sexted reported feeling pressured or coerced to do so.

There cannot be consent if pressure is involved.

Consent is an ongoing mutual agreement between partners that must be freely given, not coerced.

Coercion can look like:

  • “If you loved me, you would send one.”
  • “Wow, you don’t trust me?”
  • “Are we even dating then?”
  • “Everyone does it.”

In safe sexting:

  • BOTH people consent — the person wants to send a message or image, and has been told by the other person that the other person wants to receive them
  • Participants exchange messages without pictures or videos (e.g. phone calls, texts)

If sending a photo (between adults), it’s best to:

  • Not include any identifying markers in a photo (face, tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, background of picture)
  • Ensure live photo is turned off
  • Consider the security of the app being used to send images
  • Understand that once an image is sent, control over it is lost

Image-Based Abuse

Image-based abuse, or non-consensual intimate image abuse (also known by the victim-blaming term “revenge porn”), is the sharing, posting, or forwarding of an intimate photo or video (real or digitally altered) of another individual without their consent.

It is ILLEGAL in all 50 states to non-consensually share intimate photos or videos of another person.

If you have experienced image-based abuse, know it is not your fault, and you are not alone. There are numerous avenues to stop the abuse, have the content taken down, and hold the perpetrator accountable, including Orders of Protection and requests to take down content on social media.

You have the right to expect private images to remain private.

If you have sent images of yourself, including while you are underage, you are still entitled to protection and help.

Impersonation & Sextortion

Online relationships can feel very real — and they can be. But it is difficult to know who you are really talking to online.

It is very common for perpetrators to impersonate a young person (“catfishing”) — often pretending to be a young, attractive girl or woman — in order to pressure someone to send an intimate picture.

This dangerous practice is called sextortion. It’s an increasingly prevalent form of abuse where a person threatens to disseminate another person’s sexually explicit images if they do not comply with their demands.

Historically, offenders have targeted young girls to extort them for money. But today, it’s young boys who are the overwhelming target — a 2024 study by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) found that 90% of victims of financial sextortion were boys between the ages of 14 and 17.

If you are the victim of sextortion, know that help is available. Your family, loved ones, and community are here to support you, and there are resources to assist you.

Here are some tips to remain safe online:

  • Do not share personal information on gaming platforms or social media
  • Be wary of people trying to transition off video games to social media platforms
  • Know that having mutual friends with other users on social media does not mean you should automatically trust them
  • Trust your instincts if something feels off

Warning signs of a potentially unsafe online connection:

  • The relationship progresses quickly
  • They avoid video calls/meetings in person and only want to stay on apps/text
  • They have a limited or suspicious social media presence
  • They request money, gift cards, or images
  • Their profile and personality feel “too perfect”
  • They have an odd texting style

What To Do If You Are Experiencing TFA

Cyber sexual abuse and sextortion are illegal, and abusers can be held accountable. Victims should feel safe to seek help in New York State, even if they have shared intimate images of themselves as a minor.

Please know that giving in to blackmail requests hardly ever results in the threats stopping.

If explicit images of you (real or digitally altered) have been posted or shared, or you are getting threats about images being exposed, follow these steps:

1. Know that this is not your fault

2. Document evidence – EXCEPT nude photos under 18

Save screenshots, usernames, and messages. However, do NOT save or copy any nude or partially nude images of young people under 18, including yourself.

3. Block — but don’t delete

Block the offending account, but don’t delete messages, even if you are scared or upset. Conversations and profiles could be needed for reporting and getting assistance.

4. Seek support

Talk to a trusted adult, counselor, or organization for support and to get help getting your pictures taken down.

5. Report — and get content taken down

  • Take It Down (NCMEC) is a free service that can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of you when you were under 18 years old.
  • Missing Kids has resources on how to remove intimate image content from many platforms, including TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
  • Love is Respect has excellent resources on teen dating violence.
  • Day One offers services to NYC youth age 24 and under.

To Parents, Caregivers, & Educators

Being a victim of sextortion can be incredibly difficult, especially for young people. Studies have found sextortion to be closely linked with the risk of suicide.

Having open, non-judgmental conversations with young people about online behavior, consent, and sexting can dramatically reduce risk of harm. Teens are more likely to seek help when they feel safe talking about uncomfortable experiences and know they can count on you for support.

Safety online is possible. With knowledge, boundaries, and support, teens can build respectful and healthy relationships — online and offline.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that there are resources available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential support and information 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

If you live in New York City, please get in touch with Sanctuary for Families to get help.