Yet again, a woman who spoke out about harassment and abuse has been vilified by the internet.

When news broke that Blake Lively filed a formal sexual harassment complaint against Justin Baldoni, the online backlash was swift and predictable. The public’s response mirrors what we saw after Amber Heard spoke publicly about Johnny Depp’s abuse and Megan Thee Stallion was shot by Tory Lanez. Each time, instead of empathy or support, survivors were met with doubt, mockery, and cruelty.

These online hate campaigns reveal just how deeply entrenched societal biases against survivors still are.

The Myth of the Perfect Victim

The “perfect victim” is a dangerous, unrealistic standard that society imposes on survivors of abuse. According to this myth, victims must be likable, virtuous, and irreproachable. The perfect victim is weak and vulnerable. They must be involved in a ‘respectable’ activity at the time of victimization. Their aggressor must be someone they didn’t know, and who society deems guilty. The perfect victim is always white, cisgender, and feminine.

Survivors who deviate from these narrow expectations are treated with suspicion, contempt, or outright hostility. And because nearly no one fits the mold, it becomes all but impossible to be seen as a “legitimate” victim.

While Blake Lively holds the status of a wealthy, feminine, white woman, her claims were still dismissed by the public immediately. Lively’s character was scrutinized, being labeled “annoying” and “disingenuous.” Baldoni’s legal complaint focused on portraying her as “difficult” on set and his team released texts showing a friendly rapport during the early stages of filming — as if any of that disproves her harassment claims.

This is exactly the point: survivors are often disqualified from being believed not because of facts, but because of who they are perceived to be.

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender

Perpetrators of abuse often use a manipulation tactic called DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd, DARVO describes what happens when an abuser denies wrongdoing, attacks the survivor’s credibility, and then portrays themselves as the true victim.

In celebrity cases, DARVO plays out on a massive scale. It becomes a public relations strategy. The abuser’s team weaponizes media narratives to disorient and silence the survivor, framing her as vindictive, unstable, or attention-seeking.

Amber Heard’s trial is one of the clearest examples. Despite credible evidence that she experienced domestic violence, the public overwhelmingly rallied around Johnny Depp, convinced he was the real victim. While the legal outcome was mixed, many interpreted it as a full vindication of Depp — and used it to justify relentless attacks on Heard. But the damage didn’t stop at the courtroom. The online backlash was brutal, far-reaching, and deeply discouraging. It sent a clear message to survivors everywhere: if you speak out, you’ll be mocked, maligned, and punished.

Blake Lively has been subjected to a similar pattern. Baldoni’s lawsuit centered on counter-allegations that had little to do with her sexual harassment claims. He framed himself as the victim, alleging that Lively and her husband used their fame to control production and harm his reputation. Almost immediately, a wave of negative coverage followed, portraying Lively as a serial “bully” who targeted costars and controlled the narrative. Whether this was an organic response or a coordinated campaign is unclear, but the timing and tone strongly suggest an attempt to flip the script.

The same happened to Megan Thee Stallion, who was mocked and discredited even after her abuser was convicted. In one of the most glaring examples, Drake rapped: “This b**** lie ’bout getting shots, but she still a stallion.” It’s a stark reminder that Black women’s trauma is too often trivialized, their credibility discounted.

Read more about why Black women are more likely to be victims of sexual assault here and why they are less likely to be believed here.

Why This Matters

DARVO and the myth of the perfect victim prime us to disbelieve survivors. They frame disclosures of abuse as opportunistic, hysterical, or manipulative. They redirect our attention away from the harm done—and onto the supposed flaws of the person who dared to speak out.

These public smear campaigns don’t just harm individual survivors. They send a message to anyone thinking of coming forward: don’t bother. If someone with Blake Lively’s platform and credibility is met with scorn, what hope does an everyday survivor have?

And when friends and family share memes or engage in cruel commentary, the damage deepens. Survivors internalize the backlash. They learn to stay silent.

Moving Forward

In the years since Amber Heard and Megan Thee Stallion’s cases, there has been some public reflection and regret. Hopefully, now that Baldoni’s retaliatory lawsuit has been dismissed in court, there will be similar reconsideration of how we treat survivors in the court of public opinion.

In the meantime, here’s how you can help challenge DARVO and the perfect victim myth:

• Resist the urge to dogpile. Don’t comment on or share content that targets survivors—even celebrities.
• Question the source. Who is sharing this story? Is it coming from someone with a vested interest in discrediting the survivor?
• Believe survivors. This doesn’t mean abandoning due process. It means listening, taking disclosures seriously, and acknowledging the systems that have failed survivors for decades.

We live in a society that has long dismissed, shamed, and silenced victims. “Believe survivors” isn’t about choosing sides — it’s about choosing justice.

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Julie Tervala is a Staff Attorney on Sanctuary’s Campus Advocates Project. Learn more her team’s work here. 

Edited Creative Commons “Blake Lively Cannes 2016 2 (cropped)” by Georges Biard and “AmberHeardTIFFSept10” by gdcgraphics (licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0). Edited Creative Commons “Megan Thee Stallion Adweek pose” (licensed under CC BY 4.0).

This week, a federal judge dismissed Justin Baldoni and Wayfarer Studios’ $400 million lawsuit against Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, the New York Times, and others. The decision marks a significant victory for survivors’ rights, reinforcing the critical principle that speaking out about abuse, especially in connection with official complaints, should not lead to retaliatory litigation.

At Sanctuary for Families, we were proud to stand alongside Lively and 18 other advocacy organizations in filing amicus briefs supporting her motion to dismiss. Together, they represent a collective stand for the right of survivors to be heard and believed.

Sanctuary’s Legal Advocacy in Support of Blake Lively

Sanctuary’s brief, drafted in collaboration with our pro bono partners at Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP and joined by 13 organizations, including NNEDV, NOW, and Esperanza United, warned of the troubling rise in retaliatory defamation lawsuits against survivors who speak out. Filed as an amicus brief — also known as a “friend of the court” filing — our submission provided expert legal analysis from leaders in the gender-based violence field to help the judge assess the broader implications of the case for survivor safety and speech.

In particular, the brief highlighted how these lawsuits often follow a familiar pattern rooted in DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender), a common tactic used to discredit survivors and shift blame onto those who report abuse. We also argued that California’s new Civil Code Section 47.1 — a statute that explicitly protects survivors from retaliatory defamation claims — offers vital protections and should serve as a model nationwide.

As Dorchen Leidholdt, Sanctuary’s Legal Director, put it:

“Survivors must be able to report abuse and seek protection and justice without fear of retaliation. Sanctuary for Families strongly supports California’s groundbreaking statute shielding survivors from retaliatory defamation suits and urges other states to follow its example. Survivors’ voices belong in courtrooms, in campus disciplinary hearings, and in public forums. If we are serious about ending gender-based violence, we must protect their right to speak their truth.”

What the Court Said

In a 132-page decision, U.S. District Judge Lewis J. Liman dismissed the lawsuit brought by Justin Baldoni and Wayfarer Studios against Blake Lively, rejecting their claims of defamation, civil extortion, and other allegations. While the ruling did not create new legal protections, it applied established legal standards to reaffirm that individuals who report misconduct cannot be punished through meritless lawsuits.

The court’s decision reinforces critical principles about how survivors, advocates, and journalists can safely speak out about abuse:

• Survivors can demand workplace safety without being accused of crimes. The judge found that Lively’s requests for protections — like having safeguards on set and limits on inappropriate behavior — were legitimate workplace advocacy, not illegal extortion.
• Survivors can share their official harassment complaints with the media without being sued for defamation. The judge found that Lively was legally protected when she provided her Civil Rights Department complaint to journalists.
• News organizations can report on survivors’ harassment complaints without facing defamation lawsuits. The Times was protected because it was reporting on an official legal proceeding and had credible evidence supporting its story.

Blake Lively’s Response

After the ruling, Blake Lively took to Instagram to express her gratitude for the 19 advocacy organizations that stood with her:

“Last week, I stood proudly alongside 19 organizations united in defending women’s rights to speak up for their safety… While the suit against me was defeated, so many don’t have the resources to fight back . . . I’m more resolved than ever to continue to stand for every woman’s right to have a voice in protecting themselves — including their safety, their integrity, their dignity, and their story. With love and gratitude for the many who stood by me — many of you I know, many of you I don’t — but I will never stop appreciating or advocating for you.”

Sanctuary for Families is honored to be among the organizations Blake recognized. We are proud to support survivors, both in and outside the courtroom, and to speak out against efforts to silence them.

What’s Next

While this ruling is a major step forward, the fight is far from over. Too many survivors still face legal threats, social stigma, and professional retaliation for coming forward. California has taken the lead with a law that protects survivor speech. Now, other states must follow.

We urge lawmakers in New York and across the country to enact similar laws. Survivors should never have to choose between speaking the truth and staying safe from retaliation.

Edited Creative Commons “Blake Lively Cannes 2016 2 (cropped)” photo by Georges Biard (licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 – https://lnkd.in/gB6Kk3s)