“Lina’s” Story: This is a community that I will cherish in my heart forever

Sanctuary for Families

Originally from Trinidad and Tobago and undocumented, “Lina” worked for years as a waitress. When she finally received work authorization, Sanctuary’s Economic Empowerment Program helped “Lina” gain the skills necessary to enter the professional workforce and build a new life in the U.S.

The following speech was delivered by “Lina,” a Sanctuary for Families client, at the Winter 2019 Economic Empowerment Program graduation. Of the 52 graduates in this year’s fall class, four women were selected by class vote to share their stories with the audience.

Here’s “Lina’s” story:

I have attempted to write this speech several times, asking myself how to go about it, because it is challenging to fully capture the impact of this experience on my life. I wish I had a magical looking glass that would allow you to look into my mind and heart and understand the complexity of the effect that this experience has had on me; short of this, I will do my best to articulate what is in my heart with words.

The Silver Lining

If you met me a year ago and we engaged in a dialogue, you wouldn’t believe that you were speaking to the same person you see before you today. I was pessimistic and hopeless.  For a very long time I felt like a sitting duck here in the U.S. Stuck, to say the least, is how I felt. Without immigration status I worked as a waitress for a very long time, grateful for the opportunity to be able to support my children, but steadily losing hope for the future. I was aware that without legal immigration status, my chances of a bright future within the states was slim.

I made up my mind that if there was no resolution to my immigration issues, fearing that I would eventually be deported and/or separated from my children, I would for their sake go back to my homeland of Trinidad and Tobago in 2019 and try to make it the best I could there.

On February 24, 2018 a silver lining appeared. I was finally legalized to work. As happy as I was with the news, I realized that I only had a high school diploma and no work experience other than the restaurant industry. Needing guidance and advice, I spoke to my case manager at Sanctuary about my problem to see if she could point me in the right direction. Shortly afterward, my case manager presented me with the opportunity of participating in the Economic Empowerment Program (EEP) – this, I can say was one of the best thing that could’ve happened to me.

A Community of Support

Hard work perseveres through all. This is one of the major things that have I taken away from this program. I cannot and will not say that it was ever easy, but what I can say is that it was more than worth it. Through workshops, classes and professional development, the Career Readiness Training Program has given me the confidence to know that I can and will find my place in the professional world. This program was the type of push that I needed, the push for me to challenge myself and reach my maximum potential.

Along my journey to career readiness, I stumbled across something beautiful. A group of women from all walks of life, from all over the world, walking on the same path to success. I have grown to look forward to seeing these women each day – and as this phase comes to an end and friendships grow, I know that I have made lifetime connections.

We encourage each other to do our best and assist each other in any way possible. I have learned the importance of sisterhood through these women. I appreciate every kind word, pat on the back and occasional checking when needed because that’s what sisters do. This is a community that I will cherish in my heart forever.

I will close by saying this: EEP has changed me for the better. As I said, it was tough, but I came out on the other side stronger and more prepared for the world and economy that we live in. My peers and the staff have believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and encouraged me all along the way. When I began this program, I had the misconception that I was in it alone. I am not a person who asks for help – I find it very hard to do that. And, although I still struggle with this, I am comforted in my heart and mind by the fact that if I needed anything and they could and would help me.

I thank all of you for that. You have shown me that good people still do exist in this world. I am no longer a sitting duck but an eagle, soaring through life, confident and strong with nothing to stop me but myself – and I have no intention of doing that.

“Natalie’s” Story: EEP emboldens me to be the best parent I can be

Sanctuary for Families

“Natalie,” a Sanctuary client, shares how our Economic Empowerment Program empowers families and communities to thrive.

The following speech was delivered by “Natalie,” a Sanctuary for Families client, at the Winter 2019 Economic Empowerment Program graduation. Of the 52 graduates in this year’s fall class, four women were selected by class vote to share their stories with the audience.

Here’s “Natalie’s” story:

Hello, my fellow New Yorkers! And good afternoon to the graduates of Sanctuary for Families’ Fall 2018 Economic Empowerment Program!

Family

Parenting has always been the most important driving force in my life. Sanctuary for Families’ Economic Empowerment Program (EEP) emboldens me to be the best parent I can be. My child learns and grows into a person by looking at the choices I make in my own life: how I embrace new challenges, how I pick up myself from falls, how I stand on my own two feet in our society, and how I touch the people in it. To me, the most powerful aspect of the EEP is the impact it has on families.

Training

A great pillar of our economic empowerment is the Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS) Certification program. I used to joke, “Anything developed in this century, I choose to have no mastery over.” After being certified in Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook, however, I am a new person! If so much of my life is still uncertain, the Microsoft world is no longer. MOS training gave me a sense of stability, control and direction – and, as a bonus, I now have street cred with my teenage son!

I am realizing computer skills are an exceptional equalizer, in this exceptionally unequal world. It really doesn’t matter if we don’t have a degree, can’t remember any of the math, or don’t speak English fluently. We can come from anywhere, have any history, be of any color or gender. With proper commitment, we can now make up the years lost.

I discovered powers beyond the keyboard, too – inspiration and warmth, as we supported each other through our own unique strengths. I think there’s a certain, galvanizing kind of energy that gets generated when people from diverse ethnic, racial, cultural, religious, educational, professional, and generational backgrounds work together. A program like this is rare and makes a believer out of us. And it is made possible, thanks to the magically coordinated efforts of the Sanctuary’s EEP team, and the invaluable resources offered by the extended team of volunteers and sponsors. This is teamwork at its best. The program is a community for a problem that is impossible to solve alone.

Moving Toward the Future

Intimate partner violence is like a serious illness in that it can happen to any of us. It affects the victim’s families and friends leaving them puzzled, hurt, and lost – helpless in finding answers or paths for us. It is like high interest loans – the problems compound and eventually freeze us into powerlessness. When this vicious cycle starts to get reversed, however, families and friends – and communities – perk up. My friend texted me recently, “Everything you’re working towards is very important, not just for yourself, as you said. I feel the effect as well. So, keep it up for me, too.” This program is impacting families across generations. My son’s future is brighter as a result; and my mother is given hope, through her hopes for me.

EEP is beyond charitable work and saves individuals; it is a no-brainer investment in the resourcefulness and resilience of women. This kind of investment makes families and communities thrive. My classmates and I will be uplifting and revitalizing the work force – and empowering everyone along the way. Our children, as well as our future employers and colleagues will witness and feel our force. We are here, in this city, for a reason. We are coming and making a difference in the new world that our children deserve. Congratulations, everyone, on starting this new powerful journey.

Orthodox Jewish women find success in Sanctuary’s Economic Empowerment Program

Sanctuary for Families

Naomi R. was one of four elected speakers at the January 2018 EEP graduation and one of the first Jewish Orthodox women to graduate from the program. Read her graduation speech.

This past January, Sanctuary for Families’ Economic Empower Program (EEP) held its semi-annual graduation ceremony to celebrate the achievements of fifty-one strong and inspiring women, all survivors of domestic violence. With friends, family and Sanctuary staff in attendance, the women accepted their diplomas – thereby marking the start of a new stage in both their personal and professional lives. To honor the occasion the class elected fellow graduates to speak on their behalf. Naomi R. was one of the four women who spoke that evening. She was both one of the youngest women and one of the first at-risk Orthodox teens to graduate from EEP.

Read her graduation speech and learn more about Sanctuary’s work with Orthodox Jewish women below.

My name is Naomi and I am proud to have the opportunity to speak to you this evening.

To my dear teachers, classmates, directors and family that came today and to all involved in caring for us and making sure we are all okay on a day-to-day-basis-I would like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you, for investing your time and effort into every single one of us that will all be okay, cheering us on by laughing, and crying and for validating us when times were tough.

To my fellow classmates who have encouraged me whether it was a hug a nice word or gesture, you are all responsible for helping to restore my faith in myself. To Rocky, you have been a big part of my support throughout this program.  When I felt discouraged you were there to pick me up. Let us not forget about our wonderful volunteers who have practiced interviewing with us, tutored us- and to all the firms who have given us the opportunity to set foot inside the corporate world of business, you too have helped me gain the confidence to stand up here and tell you my story and my journey of growth and my belief in myself as a person.

From the very first day, I was honestly skeptical about the whole program and how it worked. As I looked around and saw the many different faces I began to realize how, no matter the background, color, or race- that I was not alone in this struggle. Looking back now, I recall Sarah saying to us at orientation, that some of you will graduate and the person sitting next to you-may not. This made me feel uneasy, yet a part of me began to feel comfortable with the fact that I and no one else would be responsible for getting through this program.

I also realized that some of my fellow participants were mothers – and that I was one of the younger participants in the program. As the program went on I found myself stepping out of my comfort zone and came to discover how strong, capable, and motivated I really am. This led me to write a letter to myself which included ways to cope under stress, bad days, and negative feedback. I made sure to include a reminder to myself that a bad day-doesn’t mean a bad life. Alas, day in and day out of interactions with my teachers who really loved and believed in every single one of us no matter where we came from-all that love would change the world I see and experience.

Not only was it the Economic Empowerment Program staff, it was also my fellow classmates. If they believed in me, then I must believe in myself and walk away from my anxiety because I am not my anxiety! Before I knew it, I was being gentle with myself and soon enough I began to accept myself. After a while I was actually having fun laughing with my teachers and I even learned some Spanish!

Some of the things I got from this program are that, although I graduated from high school, my knowledge of computers was limited, so Microsoft Word and Power Point meant a lot to me. I learned how easy it is to dress and act professionally and I got a taste of what it’s like to be in the corporate world thanks to Goldman Sachs and Linklaters.

Now I am able to think on my feet, type at a speed of 50 words per minute, and voice my opinions without being judged for it. I have learned to be patient with myself. Another lesson I’ve learned is that there are kind hearted people. I think that a specific example was, my intake interview with EEP, where I met this selfless man named Angelo (who was so enthusiastic about the use of coffee in America). He restored my faith by telling me that just because I’ve quit a number of jobs or switched schools, it doesn’t mean I’m a quitter like I always thought I was.

To conclude – in all that I have gained and learned, what I will take with me is not to take things too seriously, to enjoy every opportunity that comes my way in terms of education and self-growth, and that saying “I got this” really helps (thank you Miss Lee, the computer teacher). So I’m going to end by saying that I’m so grateful for this incredible opportunity and the friends I have made and the personal growth I’ve achieved.

The Orthodox Jewish Domestic Violence Initiative

Sanctuary launched The Orthodox Jewish Domestic Violence Initiative in 2015 in response to an increasing number of calls for help we had been receiving from Orthodox Jewish women. Desperately seeking help with civil and religious divorces from abusive spouses, these women had virtually nowhere to turn for free, high-quality legal services. As New York City’s largest non-profit agency dedicated to providing services and outreach to abuse victims and their children, Sanctuary recognized the need in these often insular communities, and hired a family law attorney and a case manager, both from the Orthodox community themselves, to lead our work.

Since 2015, The Orthodox Jewish Domestic Violence Initiative has served over 100 women and teenage girls. Services include legal representation in complex divorce, child custody, child and spousal support, and safe visitation cases, as well as representation in the Beit Din religious courts. In addition to legal representation, staff assist with several of the urgent non-legal needs seen among these women—many of them in dire situations with multiple dependent children and tenuous housing situations, serious food security concerns, and extensive abuse-related trauma.

Over the last year and a half, Sanctuary has also begun to serve at-risk teenage girls who have grown up in ultra-Orthodox homes but who have strayed from the traditional paths dictated by their families. Shunned by their families and communities, they are at grave risk of drug and alcohol abuse, and deeply vulnerable to sexual exploitation. Thanks to Sanctuary’s holistic service model and network of partners in New York City, staff have been able to provide critical support to these young women as they begin to rebuild their lives. Naomi R. was one of these young women. She and seven others were part of the January 2018 Economic Empowerment Program graduating class. Today, Naomi and her fellow graduates are on their way to achieving both personal and professional success. As we continue to test and expand our services to the Jewish Orthodox community, we look forward to seeing what she and others achieve with the skills they’ve developed while at Sanctuary.

 

 

 

Stories of Courage and Empowerment

Sanctuary for Families

Economic Empowerment Program graduates share stories of struggle and perseverance.

This past June, Sanctuary for Families’ Economic Empower Program held its semi-annual graduation ceremony to celebrate the achievements of forty-three strong and inspiring women, all survivors of domestic violence. With friends, family and Sanctuary staff in attendance, the women accepted their diplomas – thereby marking the start of a new stage in both their personal and professional lives.

To honor the occasion the class elected fellow graduates to speak on their behalf. The speeches delivered by Coleen, Rebecah, and Yijie reflect many of the challenges that an estimated 25% of women in the U.S. have/will face in their lifetime. Follow the links below to read their speeches and hear their remarkable stories.

Coleen’s Story

Finding opportunity in every difficulty

“Just a few weeks into the program, I had the craziest thought, ‘What if I were selected to speak at graduation?’ ‘What would I say?’ Right there and then I commenced writing what I wanted to say. Today, here I am delivering [my speech] to you.”

Read on here.

Rebecah’s Story

Another chance at life

“Thinking [back on] a time when I sat in my unit at the shelter thinking to myself I am a single mother, jobless, and who the hell cares – I never thought I would be standing here basking in my own achievements. I didn’t want to constantly be a burden to people who had their own worries, so I shared a little and kept everything else to myself.”

Read on here.

Yijie’s Story

I am not a victim

“Even though I was free from abuse, my freedom was a harsh experience of shelter and struggle – I lost hope and wanted to give up. But I didn’t. I kept going. This program has allowed me to improve myself as well as my professional skills. I was a professional in my native country of China. Now I feel confident and ready to be a professional again in America. Most importantly, I feel human again.”

Read on here.